heart pain

sometimes.. i dont want to be myself.. sometimes its too hard to be myself... i hate when i always think of people's happiness.. think of how to make people happy.. think of how to help people.. think of how to not disappoint them.. but in return.. i never get that back from them.. yes i did that fully hearted but sometimes... u want that to happen to u too.. i guess.. that could only happen when miracles are for real.. i know i always said miracles could happen.. but the real thing is.. miracles wont happen if you dont work for it.. "nothing is impossible" is for real.. that what makes miracle happen.. and because of that.. God created people who are willing to do that for others.. Do other realize that? nope.. that is why there are still people who are not thankful with what they have.. there are still people who think miracles could happen but never want to do anything but pray.. God is not a place where we just ask and He would grant it for us.. He would listen to our prayers and make it easy for us.. not just give it to us.. what can i say more?

but i am happy to have friends that are still willing to help me in a way.. notice when i needed a hand to get up.. i am happy to have a family that is always there to help me with anything even though i know they have more to think of then my own.. i am so happy and grateful to have that one person that is always there for me..

but for most.. thank you God *Alhamdulillah*.. You did this to show to me.. that this world is not easy.. this life is not just a game... its a war.. u have to be tough.. u are also to help those who needed 'em.. needed 'em most not just needed them and let it be.. and for that..

~I love myself, Anis Solihah~