What do i want out of life..

I was doing this one "know yourself" test.. one interesting question was what i want out of life.. Its a hard one for me.. No kidding.. I mean.. yeah, i do pretty much know what i want in life.. some i'm not sure of what i want.. I'd like to say i know what i want and others not sure of.. but, it doesn't seem to be the best answer..

I do know what i want in life.. But it's part of the things you keep it to yourself and never really wanna tell it to the whole wide world nor the closest ones.. Yes, I am scared to say it out loud.. People might say no to it.. Thank god if people encourage me to do what i want.. But there's always the x-factor.. the doubt factor.. the what ever you want to call it factor..

Onto something different..

Have you ever sat at one corner.. and just observe people.. play a game with yourself.. what they do, why they are walking around there or how they end up at that place, at that very moment.. Have you even thought how happy they look.. how miserable they look.. or how calm they look..

It's easy to do so when you yourself is in a deep s*** and miserable.. you'll even question why they are happy when you're struggling with stuff in your life.. but only God knows what's what behind the smile and giggles.. emotionally, the heart might have been like a tattered flag; torn into pieces..

I've done that before.. I don't need to go far.. As I'm sitting in my half-cubicle, looking around my office *the departments are.. errr.. for lack of words, divided by glass partitions*, I reminded myself of their life.. one person is smiling and always making jokes is actually thinking of getting an end to her marriage life.. one guy seemed so focus with his work when the wrinkles are not from work but from the worry of his wife who's having eyes discomfort and might grow blind.. one guy look tired but still hanging on.. In his mind, he's trying his best to keep up his work quality and at the same time, trying to excel in his degree..

There are more but i'm not going to mention all of em of course.. it would then be a terribly long list of peoples and their problems.. the point is.. one might smile with happiness when deep inside, the smile is dimmed with tears.. Don't compare what you're going through with others.. God gives you challenges that you can endure, but not others.. you might not able to endure what they are going through but they can if they really do it..

Despite all the happenings in your life, think of the good moments, the out comes and why you're doing all this.. I bet it's for the best and if its not, you need to work harder and get some guide from Him.. Everything is from Him and if we can't see it, to Him we should seek..

InsyaAllah, He'll be there for you..

Onto something totally different lagi..

Here's a picture of Adeeb, Wira and I when Wira came back for holidays.. God knows how I miss that moment we're together again.. Yeap.. and I was happy to get to see you again bro.. (o',^o)