Tuesday, January 09, 2007

being accepted or appreciated?

Anyone in this world would do anything to be accepted. Everyone living currently that is. No kidding. You might go round about not being one but in the end, you will realize this and have to agree with it. Is it good? Is it that bad as what i have heard people said? Honestly, i don't know.Like i said, i am one of those everyone.

I realize that as for me, it's not something i want to do anymore. It's like putting people's opinion first, then my own decision. It's like i need their affirmation to do something in order to be accepted in the community or in a certain group. As for myself, i need that affirmation not to be accepted but just to make sure i am doing something good and not bad. The least, i'd know what to expect, cons taking that path. Why should i? I have no idea. Maybe this is the other thing in my life i am still learning. seeking for... for the sake of low vocabs, agreement? maybe this is one of my reasoning, which in the end, actually it's a form of asking for acceptance within my circle of people? Realizing this, i will try not to anymore.

Somethings also i realized, is not a form of asking for acceptance but its actually a form of asking to be appreciated. We tend to forget bout them. We tend to take for granted. Take for granted bout things happening around us. Take for granted people who you love. Take for granted the great friends you have. Take for granted about yourselves.

We never realized that till we lost them. Until that person or event goes to other people instead. That feeling of being appreciated. How does it feels like? Does it feels like getting presents for birthdays? Does it feels like that feeling when it's spring again? It's something so fragile in your heart *well at least for me*. The feeling of being accepted of who you are and nature will adjust herself to add you in her.

I hate when people don't appreciate each other. I hate more when people don't appreciate ME. Why am I being so obsess about being appreciated? I don't know. Am I being selfish? No I am not cuz i did mention i hate people who don't appreciate others too, right? *Though it doesn't make any much diff* Having the guts saying this because i do appreciate people. I would try to include them in conversations, show i remember and i thank for what they have done or what not. I would mention their names if people ask who's my best friend. I might not reply messages or chat with people a lot but I still talk about them. *and i meant the good one not the talk-behind-them kinda talk*

It would be more hurtful if it is done from your own best friend or someone you could say close to you. I mean, sometimes, when you are to close to them, you tend to take for granted, since you are close. But sometimes, these close peeps, you need to show your gratitude. Same goes like your parents.. They might say all they want is you being successful in the future bla bla bla but.. truth to be told, they want something in return. Maybe a free trip for Haj or holidays. House where they can stay. Not saying they are materialistic. But after sharing this idea with Jurai, what they expected from you is basically something rigid. So why not kan?

definitely these two are different. But can you differentiate them?


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