Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Why can't we?

Last night, one of my dear friend hosted a simple ladies night.. she also invited someone to share her experience of life and relationship with her family and husbands.. At first.. I was reluctant since I don't feel like going out at night but since some of my friends here are also going, why not i thought.. So i did..

It was my first time to have a ladies night kinda thing.. Met a set of new girls.. Most of them were vandies.. It was fun.. there were a lot of desserts too.. Cant restrained myself from not taking some of those brownies, cookies and lots more.. After an hour of getting to know those girls.. Megan *the host* started the talk by introducing this lady.. a beautiful lady i have to say.. and was so shocked to know she's 55 when she looks like 45.. really! am not joking!

She told us about her childhood, being bitten up by her mom.. who's mentally ill.. and the father with a depression illness.. and so cant help his daughter while she was bitten up.. being a victim because of the mother's depression.. or because the mother just wanna make the father sad since she's the fav.. and how she would pray and cry to god.. and how she met her first husband and the husband cheated on her.. and despite that.. she kept on taking care of him.. making sure the house temperature is to his liking.. the food is up to his taste.. just like a slave.. doormat.. the only thing that made her stick to her husband is because she believes in god and god hates divorce.. and after awhile.. because she can't stand it.. and the husband too.. they got divorced.. well.. there are more to it than just divorced.. the husband actually realized he was wrong and seek for god too.. but still having an affair with another woman.. tried to commit suicide.. and tried to talk her into suiciding.. but she stand firm for the sake of her god.. and then.. she got married to a younger guy.. 12 years difference.. and they are happily married till now.. and of course.. in her marriage.. there were other problems but it turned out well..

Though she talked about how she believed in bible and god.. and what not.. i tried to reflect what she said to my life.. my connection with Allah.. gosh.. i am so far from Him.. and I know... despite all the things i did.. He is still here for me.. and it stroke me when she told me this part of her life..

she was closed to this one lady.. and she's very wise *at least.. for her* .. she told the wise lady her life and told her about her believes in god etc.. and she was sobbing while asking the lady what was her problem? what were her mistakes? then the wise lady asked her "do you think you are religious?".. having said that.. she listed things that made her think she might and she answered "yes i am religious" then the lady said "then.. that's your problem" she was shocked.. no one ever told her that being religious was her problem.. and the lady explained.. "you think that going to mass everyday, pray everyday etc are enough.. but no.. you believe in god.. but you never obeyed him"

It made me think.. yeap.. that sounds so typical.. they think they are so religious..when some action they do doesn't reflect at all that they are sometimes.. it so sad to think about it.. too sad.. and it came to me.. how it is more sad when.. i am hearing this from a christian lady and not a Muslim lady.. maybe its my fault not attending to any of muslim sisters' gathering.. but i was admired by why she actually told us all her life story.. its because she doesn't want any other girls to suffer like she did.. and because of that.. now.. she goes to colleges to talk to girls.. share with them her story...

i really want Muslim sisters to be like her.. I want to be like her.. but who am I to say anything when I am not even close to God.. hoping someone who's good enough to do so to read this and do it.. I might.. insyaAllah..


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