hurm

everyday.. i have a lot of questions in my mind, regardless about studies, people, feelings, or even about myself.. What am i doing wrong with my studies? why do people can sometimes be so heartless? why do we always want to make ourselves look good in front of others? why cant we just be what we are? but it's always hard to answer them.. I usually ask the questions to other people.. especially Jurai.. y? because.. having different answer from people is just like getting answers from them.. its like.. asking.. "if u are in these conditions, this and that happen.. what would u do?" if i were to utter the question in a typical way.. say "i'm having this problem and so forth, what should i do?" they would definitely give a different answer..

people one thing for sure, love to talk bout themselves.. so if you ask them what they would do.. they can have tonnes of ways to go by.. but if you ask them to help you, they would give you part of the things they might do cuz.. basically.. you are not them.. so they might not tell everything cuz they dont know how much you are going to accept what they r saying.. but they dont know you too.. things they thought you might not do might things you could do.. *make sense ke?* so.. if you do have anything to ask.. ask them "what if you.." instead of "what should I.."

you know how sometimes.. you feel you cant do something and when u actually convince yourself to do it.. you can? and have you ever feel like.. u can do something but towards the end, even how hard you said u can.. u still cant? ironic eyh? things we thought we cant do.. turns out we can with a lot of convincing and comforting moments.. so.. by right, things we think we can do.. can actually turns out better aite? but.. nott~~

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day by day.. i feel like i'm getting better and learn more.. but in a way.. i felt part of myself is deteriorating *at the same time im typing this word.. my tongue twisted..hehe*.. spiritually.. i gez.. goshh~~

no mood writing.. *bleghhh myself!!!*