what's inside the heart?

there are times that i feel world is not fair.. who said its fair anyways? sometimes, some stuff i felt like i don't deserve them.. doesn't matter whether its good or bad.. it's not that i blame anyone, anything and definitely, am not blaming God.. for me, if it is something bad, it is something i should learn and not do it again.. if the same thing keeps on happening again and again.. not because you're born with bad luck or something superstitious like that.. it's because you haven't learn out of it.. that's why you keep on having the same problem..

but what if you think you don't deserve something good like.. you think you don't deserve 50 bucks just because you found someone's phone *maybe yes maybe not :p* or maybe.. you think you don't deserve the bestest surprise birthday ever just because you're not the bestest person ever..

i used to feel that way.. some occasions.. and i don't like talking about it just because it feels as if I am making a big deal out of it.. but once, i told someone about this feeling.. and this person actually said something but i can't make it.. but again, it made me think.. this person said, "you might not see it because it is you they are thinking of.. and not yourself thinking of yourself.. its the same thing when people say you're bad when you think you're not that bad.." and i have to say.. it's true..

I then asked someone else who is much wiser than the person who told me before and even wiser than myself.. that person agreed to what the first person said.. and also added "that is because God wants to show something that you might not realize of yourself.. you didn't see that trait in yourself.. when you do something, it's about the intention of doing it.. and He gives you something in return.. you might think you don't deserve it, but that's exactly what you should get.."

so I'm just saying right now.. what ever you get or didn't get.. it's not because you can't or you don't.. but its because that's what you should and can get.. also.. true that what ever comes out of your mouth is a prayer, but what's inside your heart makes a big difference, not just for normal human being.. but most importantly, it makes a big difference between you and The Almighty..

insyaAllah..