Saturday, January 24, 2009

What do i want out of life..

I was doing this one "know yourself" test.. one interesting question was what i want out of life.. Its a hard one for me.. No kidding.. I mean.. yeah, i do pretty much know what i want in life.. some i'm not sure of what i want.. I'd like to say i know what i want and others not sure of.. but, it doesn't seem to be the best answer..

I do know what i want in life.. But it's part of the things you keep it to yourself and never really wanna tell it to the whole wide world nor the closest ones.. Yes, I am scared to say it out loud.. People might say no to it.. Thank god if people encourage me to do what i want.. But there's always the x-factor.. the doubt factor.. the what ever you want to call it factor..

Onto something different..

Have you ever sat at one corner.. and just observe people.. play a game with yourself.. what they do, why they are walking around there or how they end up at that place, at that very moment.. Have you even thought how happy they look.. how miserable they look.. or how calm they look..

It's easy to do so when you yourself is in a deep s*** and miserable.. you'll even question why they are happy when you're struggling with stuff in your life.. but only God knows what's what behind the smile and giggles.. emotionally, the heart might have been like a tattered flag; torn into pieces..

I've done that before.. I don't need to go far.. As I'm sitting in my half-cubicle, looking around my office *the departments are.. errr.. for lack of words, divided by glass partitions*, I reminded myself of their life.. one person is smiling and always making jokes is actually thinking of getting an end to her marriage life.. one guy seemed so focus with his work when the wrinkles are not from work but from the worry of his wife who's having eyes discomfort and might grow blind.. one guy look tired but still hanging on.. In his mind, he's trying his best to keep up his work quality and at the same time, trying to excel in his degree..

There are more but i'm not going to mention all of em of course.. it would then be a terribly long list of peoples and their problems.. the point is.. one might smile with happiness when deep inside, the smile is dimmed with tears.. Don't compare what you're going through with others.. God gives you challenges that you can endure, but not others.. you might not able to endure what they are going through but they can if they really do it..

Despite all the happenings in your life, think of the good moments, the out comes and why you're doing all this.. I bet it's for the best and if its not, you need to work harder and get some guide from Him.. Everything is from Him and if we can't see it, to Him we should seek..

InsyaAllah, He'll be there for you..

Onto something totally different lagi..

Here's a picture of Adeeb, Wira and I when Wira came back for holidays.. God knows how I miss that moment we're together again.. Yeap.. and I was happy to get to see you again bro.. (o',^o)

A longgggg break...

After a good make over of my room and some other stuff.. I am overly, extremely tired and exhausted.. My work is still at the peek and I really hope it will start declining next week onwards..

It starts with a good long break.. yeap.. not 4 days but 9 days... (un)fortunately *not sure if it's good or not*, my company is one of those companies that MAKE you take 3 days off.. in my case, it's 3 days of unpaid leave.. disregard the money, i'm glad i have a week off.. I kinda think i do need it.. (o'-'o)

I'm going back to Terengganu this monday.. maybe till Thursday.. and I'm going to do some catching up with some friends on the weekend.. Something i've been wanting to do for quite somewhile already.. And it was a shame i didn't get to meet up with my fellow vandies mase Mukmin's wedding.. Adeeb, Sala and I came quite early and we kinda have other plans in the evening.. so.. yeah.. didn't make it.. Sorry guys..

And I am already missing them.. *sigh~*

I need my social life back... (~.~)7

Talking about social life.. I think I'm going to qada' all my exercise that i've been neglecting.. *ok.. so social life has nothing to do with exercise.. who cares! :b* Though, I've been lifting weights.. heavy ones too.. mostly, because of my work needs me to use some of my muscles.. I'm glad for ones! *hehe* what can I say, there are some other pros to my work.. Just that, i don't want to acknowledge it (o`'-)

Anyways, here's a picture from Mukmin's wedding..

Friday, January 16, 2009

clean new start..

I've always thought new year is just another number added 1 to it.. Nothing more, nothing less..

I guess things have been changing and so the thought i had..

I want to have a clean new start.. fresh new one.. about almost everything..

First, I have to do my laundry.. then, change my bedsheet and prolly, change a bit my room's arrangement.. that is to change my mood here and there.. *hehehe* Then, i *think* will be fully loaded with what, how and why to change or not to change.. yessss!!!!

Tapi as i'm writing, aiyoo.. my nose is running like a full opened tap.. my eyes are a lil bit itchy.. and my head is like a big giant air balloon; hot, floating and wobbling here and there.. can i start to kemas this room of mine??

okeii.. so those are just reasons for me not to move.. so, since i already have my sister at home, i'm going to 'use' her.. be my chearleader!!! yes!! that's what i'm going to do!! she'll start telling me stories, and i'll start doing things and all she need to do is sit and talk to me.. distract my mind from the leaking nose, itchy eyes and this hot air balloon head *i think it's becz i had a late nescafe kut.. darn to caffein addiction!*

Than, i'm going out for the day with my mom and sis.. we're getting some stuff and there, i'll start to think of my new me; clothes!!! well, what you wear, perfume u use and the colors will influence who you are.. so yeah! i want to be.. THE NEW ME..

it won't be that much of a different.. i'm just changing to a better me.. i HOPE.. Ameen..

For the sake of people I love the most...

Good god what am i blabbering about!!

ok.. going to start rearrangging my room.. NOW!!!