Papa`

Last nite.. the last thing i remember was watching 'Nine Months' .. well.. that was before i woke up after an irritating but nice dream.. but that's not my point.. My point.. that movie was about a guy *Hugh Grant* who cant accept the fact that he's going to be a father.. and how he never wants to let go his youth and all his single life.. and he started to accept the fact after watching his son's ultrasound tape *hehe.. this movie also reminiscence the 90's*.. gosh~~

Woke up this morning from a phone call.. It was my dad.. the same routine.. how are you.. dah breakfast.. lame tak dengar news *oh yeah.. i havent called home like 2-3 weeks i guess*.. and because i just woke up.. he asked me to wake up and smell the morning breeze.. as i am trying to get everything to reality.. my dad started to talk about stuff..

" Papa tengah duduk ngan mak kat luar nih.. minum air teh..

Semua tak de.. *pause* tengah tengok bulan.. its nice..

Even though tak full.. but its nice.. remember dulu2?"

That was when i realized.. gosh.. i miss my dad!!

No wonder i love to watch the moon.. felt so comfortable.. relax and feel.. so at home even though i am far from one.. especially to watch it with your love ones..~

Missing the laughter.. the smile.. the happy faces.. the familiar faces.. the stupid jokes.. the past..

*sigh~*

so... emotional?

I am not a big TV watcher.. I have no idea why but i am a BIG movie watcher.. anyways.. last 2 nites, and today.. i was watching some dramas and stories.. and it seems that they have this one theme going on.. and i was so touched that i actually cried.. well.. only one drama out of a lot.. (",)

It's about how guys think about their kids.. about their feeling to be a father.. and the fact that kids can make them cry and mollify themselves from these ego and kinda self-centered guy they are.. These guys.. really "wow"s me..

I know it's weird to see guys cry for some stupid reasons.. *which i cant really think now*.. they look so wimp and helpless.. not kinda guy a lady wants i guess.. oh oh!! i have to say.. i dont really like guys cry for girls.. especially after the girl actually dumped him.. i mean.. hey!! u'r a guy and u can go and find other girls maybe even better.. why do you have to wet urself with your own tears??

But guys who cried for his wife and kids.. really dazzles me.. why does a guy crying for a girl and a guy crying for his wife different? simply because a wife is someone the guy had devoted his life to live and have it together with this girl.. It is a big leap for a guy to do that.. I suppose to hanging around with his buddies and do all the guy's stuff..

Why does this guys charmed me but not the girls? *because i am not lesbian* and because.. it is so typical to see girls cry.. girls do things while getting their emotional involved.. That's why girls are so easy to cry.. and so predictable.. how stone-hearted-soul-headed girl she is, eventually, she would cry for the most predictable thing ever.. *again.. cant think of something*..

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oh oh!! got one.. i was watching this story, and she was known as the hardest lady ever.. heartles.. no sense human being ever... then.. one day.. she broke down just because her dog died... My point is, ladies have their emotion involved in something they really like and even things you might not even know about..

Question is.. are guys really like that? when would they actually act like that? or is it all about acting since i watched it on TV? but again.. acting is all about acting things that happen in life.. i guess there are guys like that.. no doubt our fathers are those guys.. but kinda doubt guys around my age.. maybe they havent develop this feelings yet? would they, eventually?

Who knows~~

later to decide

Things, people and stuff kept on bombarding me with things that concerns me this week.. Kinda got tense up of 'em.. But again.. i would never blame anyone or anything for them.. If its about other people, it is my fault to take it seriuosly and if it is about me.. well.. it is I who should be blame for.. Life is beautiful and ugly at the same time.. and this is one of those ugly part of a painting..

one of those days~

i've been lying on the bed for the past hour doing nothing but surfing and reading some blogs.. It's been awhile i havent read people 's blog.. have no time? aaa kinda.. i gez.. but today.. its the one-of-the-days day.. Its sunday for god sake!!! and I didnt do much work yet to start a new week tomorrow *so i always say MY WEEK starts on Monday.. regardless what u guys think *bleghh!!**

Last week... i've been contemplating with myself about something.. When i realized, it's one of those things you are not thankful of just because it didnt go your way.. For now.. I am so thankful for it.. *Alhamdulillah..* What is it that I am contemplating about I wont say but it is just something.. when I dont have that before, I really want it.. When I have it.. i felt like there are still things that are not quite right.. but there you go.. another typical not-thankful-person-that-god-hates.. aiyoook~~~

I was reading Mr. Muidlatif's blog.. he was saying bout what love is and stuff.. he was saying bout him being jealous, and stuff.. and one thing i like bout what he said..

"To some, they or a person would take affection for granted. "

I felt the same thing.. not that I'm the one that love taking things for granted but i know some people do.. Never take for granted things in this world. Especially things regarding the feelings.. Doesnt matter if its affectionate towards your work, your belongings and of course.. YOUR LOVE ONES.. I learnt that years ago and would never want to be in that ugly shoe again..

In other blog, this person was saying bout when you love someone, will you rather let that person say the heaviest and ugliest thing to you like simple "Goodbye" and let the need of saying "Please stay" slip through? Would you argue bout something or would you not fight and let the other think you just dont care.. turns out that actually you care but you just thought that he/she can make his/her decision and mutually understand that you are giving them space..

some need black and white to know what you feel.. to know if you care.. I know I am.. I need as simple as "I care" or as simple as a Hi text message.. I am fine with no long conversation on the phone or long emails or presents for birthday or even anniversary *i think everyday is the anniversary huhuhu ~nehh!! i dont really care* but it would be nice just to get short msg saying "I love you sys" or "I miss you buddy".. you will be suprised by the emotion running through your heart and soul..

It's funny how people can take for granted things about feelings and emotion.. I've been there.. and it's not a nice thing to think about.. How stupid I was putting someone at lost zone for weeks.. Just imagine.. it would be harder if we take things for granted and in the end, all we know, we cant regain those moments.. either that person is out of our life for good or worst.. death~

We dont need Raya to ask for forgiveness... We dont need Valentine *FYI.. I dont celebrate it but some do aite?* to show our love.. We dont need Thansgiving to feel thankful.. or any other celebration for that matter.. All this celebration existed because we human forget things.. and these are how people remind themselves..

My point is.. never ever take things for granted.. rejoice the moment you have.. adore people around you.. ignore your alter ego *That is a reminder for me.. definitely*

I am Just Spreading the Love~ *My dad*

retirement

Second ago, i was thinking about retiring for good from this blogging thing.. simply because, i'm not feeling it.. This is not me.. sharing all these stuff happen in my life.. *sound sooo self-centered but its true!!* maybe.. i dont usually share things with whole lot of people.. sharing what i think with people is so peculiar to my typical life..

Second after that, i remember telling someone.. "Some things just need some changes" Maybe it is true.. maybe i need some sparks in my life too.. We wont know until we try it.. unless of course, we have been told its for bad rather than for better...

maybe i am bored with the skin.. time to change.. want to do one.. but got no time to do one yet.. so just to get it change.. i just got this template instead.. grey~~ one of my favorites.. well.. as for orange.. people started to like it now.. being someone who hates something yang dah ramai orang suka.. started to dislike the color..

*suddenly me telling bout my favorite color plak..*