hurm

everyday.. i have a lot of questions in my mind, regardless about studies, people, feelings, or even about myself.. What am i doing wrong with my studies? why do people can sometimes be so heartless? why do we always want to make ourselves look good in front of others? why cant we just be what we are? but it's always hard to answer them.. I usually ask the questions to other people.. especially Jurai.. y? because.. having different answer from people is just like getting answers from them.. its like.. asking.. "if u are in these conditions, this and that happen.. what would u do?" if i were to utter the question in a typical way.. say "i'm having this problem and so forth, what should i do?" they would definitely give a different answer..

people one thing for sure, love to talk bout themselves.. so if you ask them what they would do.. they can have tonnes of ways to go by.. but if you ask them to help you, they would give you part of the things they might do cuz.. basically.. you are not them.. so they might not tell everything cuz they dont know how much you are going to accept what they r saying.. but they dont know you too.. things they thought you might not do might things you could do.. *make sense ke?* so.. if you do have anything to ask.. ask them "what if you.." instead of "what should I.."

you know how sometimes.. you feel you cant do something and when u actually convince yourself to do it.. you can? and have you ever feel like.. u can do something but towards the end, even how hard you said u can.. u still cant? ironic eyh? things we thought we cant do.. turns out we can with a lot of convincing and comforting moments.. so.. by right, things we think we can do.. can actually turns out better aite? but.. nott~~

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day by day.. i feel like i'm getting better and learn more.. but in a way.. i felt part of myself is deteriorating *at the same time im typing this word.. my tongue twisted..hehe*.. spiritually.. i gez.. goshh~~

no mood writing.. *bleghhh myself!!!*

Mctyeire mixer

On October 19th, there was this one party at my place.. Mctyeire Mixer.. it's an annual thing they have every year.. As this year is the 25th anniversary and its during the homecoming week, it's SOMETHING.. All the alumnus *who were Mctyeire-aits* came and celebrated with us.. It was awesome!! The foods were marvellous! they had all the foods from all countries which the languages are spoken here.. It was still Ramadhan that time but i made a brilliant move by taking the sushi first.. by the time I break fast, all the sushis are gone.. everyone was standing around the table since that is the only dish that they often get for dinner.. and plus.. they were great.. *you can see all the sushis i had on the plate =b*

After the dinner, all the current Mctyeire-aits did performances.. one from each hall.. The Chinese hall did a moral-to-learn sketch, Spanish did a sketch about a future gathering like this one.. they were hillarious.. German hall did World cup thing.. It was funny because they had all the stupid commercials and also the part where Zidane knocked down Miterazzi.. that was really funny..International hall did the history of Mctyeire.. It was ok *ngehngeh.. actually kinda lame.. but at least i learnt something* France hall did a investigation kinda film.. One of them is a flim making major and he did really well..

Lastly.. Japanese hall did a someone-watching-Japanese-TV-show sketch.. we had Hidora *Japanese evening drama* with Soap opera touch.. the funny part was.. the actor&actress didnt say a thing.. we had translators and they translate it way different from what it should be... then we had anime; pokemon!!! then commercials on Sado *Tea ceremony* and the one drinking said it taste bad.. and they put Sweet N Low in the drink and of course.. it taste better.. people laughed when they actually pronounced the thing; Sweetto ando Roo-u *japanese+english* and then.. there was japanese game show.. and we had the Nininboari.. hard to explain but basically.. 2 person in a big jacket and the person behind will try to feed the person in front with food..

Basically it was fun.. so much fun.. This really made my stay here spice-up.. with all my friends here.. they're awesome.. oh oh.. i forgot to tell the last part.. after the game show.. we did another commercial.. Its a poky commercial *mcm nini biskut celup tuh*.. all we have to do.. it just walk around... and at the count of 3, we'll shout "POKY!" i hold the bod since im the smallest and need to be in front.. suddenly, when i was waking around as planned, one of the guy said, "I'm going to pick u up" and i didnt have time to say anything.. and he picked me up and all of us said "POKY!!" it was so funny~~!!

malas

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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*someone told me to do so.. so i did... still on the phone with him.. told you im goin to do so =)*

Fall break

After a while.. i get bored writing.. heh.. its just not for me.. NEEEHHHH!!! *hehehe*
oh oh.. before anything.. i need to make an anouncement.. i just knew.. my nephew.. his name is not Ahnaf Qayyim.. that was before anything happen.. The parents changed to Mohd Ahnaf Arif.. Mohd Arif is the grandpa's name who passed away.. so.. yeah~ they didn't tell me.. not my fault!!! *grrrr~*

anyways.. last weekend was fall break.. it was great.. Jurai and I went to Gatlinburg.. it's where smoky mountain is... we didn't go there for hiking or what not.. *well.. i wish i could.. also i wanna go horse back riding there =( * but we went SHOPPINGGG!! *ngeh ngeh* yupp.. i went shopping.. but let me first tell you.. on the day we wanted to get the rented car.. things happen.. so it kinda delayed our trip.. but it was ok since only the two of us jer pun.. when the lady attended us *mase tuh.. Aiman rented for us since i am still under aged~ pfft!!* drove out the 'car', i was totally shocked.. i mean.. me.. driving a truck!?? woww!!! it was great!!! i was totally totally happy about it..

just imagine.. we were stuck in a traffic jam and people around us looked at us as if we were driving a carriage with horses on the road.. they were staring at us.. laughing at us.. and even smiled at us.. we just dont care!! *hahaha* we love that kind of attention! it was a great truck.. even though some may say it uses a lot of gas *which i dont deny it* but it was one great experience.. obviously i wont buy a truck for my own usage.. but yeah~

so.. we went shopping.. we didn't get the opportunity to snap any pictures since we were too busy shopping.. but I bought some stuff.. then.. we searched for a place to stay.. it was bad since there were a lot of people there.. for some reason.. i went there already twice and that was the first time to my knowledge.. gatlinburg or pigeon forge *that's where i shopped* were full with people.. we end up at a kinda expensive place but worth spending..

The next day.. we went up to smoky mountain.. we didn' t buy anything there except some stuff at hardrock.. *weda... if u r reading this.. i bought u one short glass =)* it was nice.. i mean.. the weather was great.. it wasn't that crowded as i would imagine.. *mayb people started to go back already since it's sunday* we head back on that day itself.. and FYI.. this trip is the third time i went to gatlinburg.. I hope I dont have to go there anymore.. ~~

oh.. and JURAIZA~~!! *ok.. sangat pelik to call with your full name*

HapPY BIrtHDay!!! TanjoUbi OmedETo!!!

*ok.. its belated*

Signing off!! *quackk!!!*

bahasa melayu

Tiba-tiba, terasa nak menulis dalam bahasa melayu. Disebabkan memang sudah tak menulis dalam bahasa melayu betul, teringin pula nak menulis dan mengeja dengan ejaan yang betul. Pelik tapi benar~ :p

Perasaan menulis dalam bahasa melayu dan bahasa inggeris memang berbeza. aku juga terpaksa betulkan banyak ejaan kerana terbiasa dengan ejaan slanga.. wah! bagaikan menulis karangan untuk spm! *hehehehe* menulis dalam bahasa membuat aku teragak-agak.. mungkin kerana tidak biasa. Oleh itu, aku akan selang-seli kan dengan bahasa inggeris untuk memastikan isi aku berjaya disampaikan..

For this entry, u might see the points are scattered.. that's because it is.. it is something how i think and it is always related to one another.. and of course everything can still be extend to more details but.. i'll let you guys extend it yourself..

I was told by someone that in most common situation women talks something they dont really mean, or if its an action, something they dont really do or in other word LIE *that's what we talked before that person told me bout this fact* well.. i dont dare to say yes.. i am a woman.. *half woman half lady* does that makes me a liar? guys do that too!! >in most common situation<>

Tahukah manusia, semuanya sekali, seorang hipokrit? yer, aku juga tidak terkecuali.. persoalan ini mungkin ada orang yang perasan, cuma tak terkata dibibir atau sekadar terdetik sahaja... Pernah tak perasan, seseorang yang kita rapat, tiba-tiba berubah bila die bersama dengan orang yang dia suka atau paling mudah, dengan teman istimewa.. *hehh!!* banyakkan?kalau perempuan.. depan teman-teman perempuan, bukan main 'macho', tak nampak kelembutan tuh.. bila dengan teman lelaki.. wahhhh!! gila laa lemah lembut dan ayu.. tapi! ada juga orang yang tampak berubah didepan teman istimewa tetapi kebenarannya, terbalik daripada apa yang difikirkan.. aku cuba memikirkan situasi aku.. bila aku hipokrit? bila aku berlagak seperti biasa? yang pasti.. aku berlagak seperti biasa dihadapan orang yang aku selesa dan aku tahu, mereka terima aku seadanya.. kebiasaannya, teman lama, rakan yang pernah tinggal sekali.. semestinya, mereka mengenalli diri ini yang sebenar.. tapi.. dengan orang lain, dengan orang yang tak mengenali aku seadanya.. aku terpaksa laa menunjukkan separuh daripada seadanya.. separuh yang baik atau kurang baik ? *tak nak tulis jahat sebab saya tak jahat *winkwink** terpulang pada situasi.. tapi, ada juga orang yang tidak peduli dan berlagak seperti biasa dihadapan semua orang..

After a while thinking of this.. and did some observation.. its funny how couples can be together and say they love each other when they are actually not being themselves.. who do they love actually? the hypocrite side of them or the real them? and its great to see couple fight just because one of them being themselves.. if they do love each other, why do they have to get angry just because they are being themselves? which eventually ends with sobbing and pleading.. *ngeh ngeh* and why do some people said, bestfriends end up being more than just friends? because they love each other as themselves.. bestfriends show their true skin.. they dont need to filter their words, actions etc.. that's why they tend to be together.. Even the nastiest thing you ever did pun.. for them.. they care but dont really mind.. that's just because.. they know, you are just being yourself..

orite laa.. i guess.. that's half of what i have in mind.. i can go on and on and on.. but my hands cant go as fast as my brain.. hope u guys see my point as i see them.. *eheheheh*

islam is not bad!!!!!!!

one day last week.. i was lining up to take my food.. and have Maricell in front of me and Mosha behind me.. we were talking bout languages and stuff when suddenly Mosha asked me.. " So i heard from my Indonesian friend that Malaysia is not really a religious country.. is it?" I said directly.. " Yeah i gez.. there are muslims who drinks and do stuff that Muslims should not be doing" He then told me things he knew and how Islam in Malaysia is actually a mix of Islam, Hindu and Buddha.. I then corrected him saying that its not that Islam in Malaysia is a mix of them but Islam in malaysia is mixed up with traditions which were adapted from Hinduism and Buddhism.. those tradition bit by bit were accepted by the community.. and he started saying bout stuff like.. Indonesia is not a really religious country too.. like Bali.. so we went on talking bout how Christianity also have that kind of mixture here and there so on and so forth.. he then kept on talking bout Islam saying like Arabian here are all proud of their country.. they said Egpyt is the most religious country compared to other Islam country.. i said.. i dare not comment.. and the word after that striked me and kinda made me mad when he accused Islam is a cruel and harsh religion.. i said why? and replied "well.. u see.. people who are not Muslim in Egypt will be forced to go out of the country.. or they would be killed" i was shocked and dare not accept that statement.. i mean.. i really dont know how far it is true.. i then told them bout Maccah.. how it is the forbidden place for non-muslim.. and no offense bout that.. and Maricell who had always been nice and good to me said " no! not that!" and i tried to defense saying that.. i dont think and that was it.. Mosha and maricell kept on saying bout Islam being hard and cruel and they listed the country which did the kicking non-muslim from their own country thing; Iraq, Lebanon and Egypt.. but one thing that made them stop was when i said " Islam is not a cruel religion.. cuz if it does.. do u think i am cruel? and if so.. tell me when and i will say no more.. Even christianity has their own hardcore.. including Islam.. and i hope this is not true but if there were things like that to happen.. they are too hardcore and making a bad impression of Islam for definite!" but Mosha said the last thing >> They sure did give the bad impression of Islam..

I went to Sarrat Student Center today to bank-in some money thru the atm machine but there were no envelopes.. really wanna get that thing done today, went to the Medical Center.. was writing on the envelope with my mp3 on.. but i still can listen to what people around me were talking and mumbling.. there were also a policewoman and a technician or what ever he is around the atm machine.. after 5 seconds after i reached the atm.. the policewoman started to talk to that technician " Did you watch the September 11th on discovery channel? it was horrible! i will never forget that!" and the technician replied yeah; short and simple with not much interest.. the policewoman kept on saying " those people were soo cruel!!! they are just hard to deal with!! so hard and cruel!!" with a sarcastic, anger and discust tone.. then i realized; i was wearing a scarf..

Is Islam that bad in the eyes of the world? why cant they accept the fact that those people from September 11th are hardcores and they are them.. we are the others who dont think like them.. Islam has its own dignity and way of living.. and its not the one they are looking currently.. it was a big bang on my head.. and that was when i felt so sad.. as in very-very sad.. other Americans can accept that.. they can accept us Muslims.. but why cant others do the same thing? Why are we punished? Americans used to slave and treat the black people badly.. why arent the white Americans being punished? The black community are now as par as them too.. they can do the same thing to the white Americans.. but why arent they? buzz off if they have veto power.. i dont give a damn..

tell me about people.. is it true egpyt and other Islam country actually kicked and even harrased non-muslim out of the country? on what basis? what is the reason? tell me people..

I am so mad.. pissed off!

a lot

something i really want to do before i start with my work..

so.. last 2 weeks, we took raya pic! like always, to send it to utusanonline.. was not that excited like before i gez.. partly i got no camera to take pic with!! sedeyh~~ but no worries... Jurai still have hers and i tumpang2 from her laa.. *hehehe* this year, we didnt take a long time to take the pics.. seems people got so bored waiting too long and taking picture at the same spot.. like come on.. dont u have any other places?? but who am i to say anything..

personally.. i dont think the pics look that good as before.. well.. before, we have pros.. and now.. aa.. not that saying they are not pros but amateur.. but as a whole, they were nice.. they even did Hari raya card from this pics but... heh.. not interested buying one.. im not the type that write Hari Raya card every year pun..

what else.. after that.. we ate at India Cuisine.. *FYI, it was not Ramadhan yet k!* last year, we went vietnam.. but this year.. Pergi India Cuisine jer laa... its a walking distance pun..

i am trying hard to put all batch pics.. but yg lepas due nih jer.. sorry laa yer freshmen and sophomores.. when i can.. i'll squeeze them in... *ehehehe* aite laa.. dunnoe wut to write anymore.. more pics in my flickr..